I don't know about your uncle, but I'll try to get a message to your Aunt Nancy

I cannot believe I said that...

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There are a couple of things bothering me professionally at the moment.  One is that my retirement accounts seem to be plummeting with a fury that I have not seen since 2008 during the major economic downturn, and the other is that I have applied to the supervisor position in my department after Shane's untimely departure and it is very uncertain at this point whether or not I will even be given serious consideration.

Obviously, there is not much one can do to control the economy, and to watch my retirement saving plummet thousands and thousands of dollars in a matter of weeks is disheartening to say the least.  I put in a good amount of money every month, and to see the number fall by ten times what I put in every month makes me believe that this is the worst thing I could be doing with my money at this point.  At least if I weren't putting it into that account I could put it into my local economy by purchasing groceries, etc.  Very frustrating to see.

As for the supervisor position, I have absolutely been crushing it lately, to the point that I didn't even know I could stay this responsible for this many things for this long of a period of time.  As soon as Shane left to join Document Control, I have been stepping up to take on many of his responsibilities.  I have been working very late almost every day and on weekends just to keep up, not to mention performing duties WELL outside of my job description.  I have heard rumors that they will be bringing someone from R&D over to take over the position, and that they made this decision without even speaking with him.  That's right.  Someone from R&D, who has no knowledge of GMP processes or exactly what it is that we do here.  I have come to the realization that I cannot make them choose me for the position, especially over someone less qualified that they have already chosen.  They make terrible decisions like these all the time.  However, I have also decided that if they do not choose me that they do not see value in what I have been doing lately and I will stop doing it.  I will go back to performing the tasks that are clearly outlined in my job description.  I will be telling my manager about that before I do it, however. That might shake him up a little bit to realize just what I've been going through.

Other than that, frustrations continue to abound in my life, though I haven't had much time to work through them (for obvious reasons).  Hopefully a decision about my position can be made one way or another soon, so that I can either have some added stability in my activities and future, or go back to having more free time.  Either way, I will be okay.  I have to let it go, personally, because I do not have any direct control.  All I can do is present myself as the best candidate I can, and be done with it.  Though, I'm not sure how I will handle the rejection if that is the case.


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